A bit of this and a bit of that

Hello You Wonderful People!

Have a good Christmas did we?

Looking forward to getting (respectedly) plastered tonight to see in 2015 with a -hic- bang?!?

I hope so! I will be... well maybe minus copious amounts of alcohol, but I fully plan to wave goodbye to 2014 in style!

This usually means going down the pub, making ridiculous new years resolutions (I WILL run 5k this year without needing resuscitation!) and writing up my death list for next year.... cheery bunch me and my friends ;) 

 But really this year has been alright to me, I passed my first year of nursing after all- something which, at times, seemed inconceivable and I came to the realisation that I am made from the right stuff to be a nurse- and be a bloody good one :)

 So where am I right now?

...... In my front room...... sorry..... ;)

 I am just about to start an 8 week placement on a general ward. I have mixed feelings about this; I have always seen myself specialising in something, seeing 'general' as wishywashy, knowing alot about alot but not settled on anything in particular. But then I also want to experience this more traditional area of nursing, REAL nursing I suppose as you must be able to turn your hand to anything thrown at you: big, small, bad, very bad, tummy based, lung based, bone based, unknown based.... its endless!!

 I think this placement will be far more demanding of me than my previous ones, not only because I am now a second year with good experience which means higher expectations but also because this ward will be MANIC! Not that my others weren't, but they were manic in the same way. Because this ward is general it will have far more areas that things can go wrong in, which means you have to have knowledge in all these areas and know what to do in all of these situations..... argh!!!

 BUT! This is all part of it and I want to be pushed and challenged.... gulp!

See you in 2015 all you nursey people :D

Kimbers xXx

 P.S Why can't they bring back this uniform?!? I would love nothing more than to be dressed as Alice in Wonderland while nursing sick children!!

Placement on the Neonatal Unit

How can I begin to to tell you about this placement?

Inspirational?

Frightening?

Thought provoking?

Yes- to all of the above and more.

So let me start by describing the different levels of a neonatal unit:

Level 1: Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU)- I suppose you could call this the 'basic care' neonatal unit, where babies are establishing feeding and growing before going home. Most babies within this setting are being fed orally or have had a long term feeding method (such as a gastrostomy) fitted and parents are receive training in regards to this. Some babies may be going on on oxygen and tolerance to this is being monitored and parents are given training concerning going home on 02. This is a lovely place to work as parents can see the light at the end of the tunnel (if they have had a long stay) and babies are awake and being babies (ie crying happily, pooing happily, looking around happily...). Babies also had to be a certain weight or age to be in this unit- the specifics of this vary from hospital to hospital however. This was also a busy unit as you could be looking after 3/4 babies on your own and all sorts of professionals are coming in to either visit parents offering them their services or advice for when they go home.

Level 2: High Dependency Unit (HDU)- I LOVED this unit, it was intense but not terrifyingly so and I was able to learn so much from the nurses in there because each patient had a totally different need from another. This unit is a step up from SCBU where babies are not quite as well. They could still be on a method of ventilation (such as CPAP) or have a stoma as a result of NEC or be fitted with a short term enteral feeding method such as a NG tube. I spent most of my time in this setting while on placement and was able to observe and nurse babies that continued down the scale to SCBU and babies that had to be admitted to NICU because their condition was worsening. In fact I was looking after my patient one day (who I had worked with previously on numerous occasions) and I just had this feeling that they were not right, they weren't presenting with symptoms or misbehaving obs wise, I just felt that something in them had changed- and not for the better. Later that day they crashed, right in front of me. I did everything that I had been taught, I didn't panic, I flipped them onto their back, begun bagging, pulled the crash buzzer and then began to empty their stomach via the NG tube when help arrived and took over. It wasn't until they had stabilised and been admitted back to NICU that the panic started: Had I done everything right? Had I missed anything? Should/could I have done something differently? My mentor was amazing and told me that she would have done the exact same- which made me feel mountains better!!!

Level 3: Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)- this unit is very scary as a second year- and I'm sure qualified nurses with years of experience will say the same. Things on this unit can go bad very quickly and with no warning. I spent about 15% of my placement here and in all honesty at times I really did feel out of my depth because these babies are SO ill. Looking after my own patient on this unit was like walking on egg shells- you are very aware that this baby is clinging to life by a very thin thread and you have to make sure that thread is holding. One patient of mine was born at 23 weeks gestation weighing 450g- to put that into perspective, the abortion cut off in this country is 24 weeks and 450g is less than a lb...... this baby could fit comfortably in my hand, they were tiny. They were being nursed on a ventilator set on HFOV mode (air goes in and out extremely quickly- the baby vibrates its that quick) and also in an incubator to maintain a therapeutic temperature, with all sorts of tubes and lines inserted into their umbilical cord (Umbilical line), mouth, arms and legs. IT WAS TERRIFYING!!!! I also unfortunately witnessed deaths on this unit. Everybody deals with this differently- for me I was fine until I got home, then I was overwhelmed with all the effects of what a baby dying meant for family and life.... my advice? write it down (no names!)- how you feel, what you remember, how it must be for the parents, what life will be like for the family- then look at it a couple of days later. Your mind will have processed it, analysed it and can now see it in a different way and you can comfort yourself -of sorts- because you understand it a little better. If you find yourself in this situation and feel that you need to talk about it with somebody there will be measures put into place for you, just talk to your mentor or uni :)

 While I was on this placement I was given the opportunity to go and see the birth of a baby who will be admitted to the unit. 

WOW!!!!

 If you want an account of that let me know! I'm hesitant to include it in this post as it would be very long and (sorry) very graphic, because....well.... OHMYGOD!! lets just say when people announce that their baby came out the 'sunroof' (Cesarean) I now quietly say to myself 'no they didn't, they came out a plane crash, in a fiery building, in a city on fire, on an island crashing apart'.... my utmost respect to those who have had a Cesarean!

Overall my experience on this placement is something I will never forget and feel extremely lucky to have experienced it. It has influenced my choice in my future nursing career (Neonatal here I come!) and also brought into sharp relief how very REAL nursing is. Some people really don't like the Neonatal unit, it's just not for them, however the experience you gain from it will be hugely beneficial. 

Until my next post and feel free to comment and let me know any requests or questions you may have,

Kimbers xXx 

Sorry.....sorrysorrysorrysorry!!!

*Timidly ventures out from behind books, suitcase, tent, empty wine bottles....*

*raises white flag.....*

*gulps*

*small voice*

"I'm back??"

Yeah.... Hi!

I know, I know, I know, I KNOW!!!

I can hear you now: 'where the HELL have you been?!?!?'

I have been enjoying my summer and catching up with life and relaxing and forgetting (momentarily) that I was a student nurse....

Gimme a break ok??

Please?!

In all serious I am sorry guys, I have no excuse other than the ones above, but here I am!!

Tada!!!!!!

And guess what?!?

I'm only a freaking second year ain't I?!?

It still seems so unreal, but yes its true I have just finished my transition week at Uni, next week is full of introductions to the new theory modules, but the week after that I am back out on placement!

And just you wait till you hear where I'm going :D

Neonatal

OH YEAH!!!!

See? See? I come bearing good news dontcha know ;)

So what has been happening?

Not much, I resubmitted that essay I failed and the result should be out next week and while I don't want to jinx it, I feel like I put a lot of effort into making it heaps better!

 I finished my special needs school placement and passed my last two assignments (woopwoop!!) and then basically tried to prepare for the up in tempo for the next year (I am NOT prepared)!!

 Really not much in all honesty!

I am drafting posts regarding the special needs school placement and dyslexia info for nurses.

All the newbie student nurses are starting this week too and I would like to take this opportunity to tell any of you who have just started to enjoy and have fun, but remember you are now a student nurse and have the responsibility to uphold our good name.....

Enjoy lovelies :)

Kimbers xXx

What's been going ooooooon?

Hello all you lovely people

I'm here and have been uber busy

 I'm sorry guys I know its been a wee while, but as I'm sure you can understand I have been a busy bug!

 So where am I know??

 I have- in theory- finished all theory for first year (eeeee!!!) and have 3 weeks left of a special schools placement and that's- hopefully!- IT for first year!!

Oh my gosh someone pinch me!

Of course I still have to make some changes on the assignment I failed, but essentially I am almost a year two nursing student!

So in summary my first year has looked like this:

Semester one:

• 3 modules: theories of nursing, introduction to life sciences, nursing skills
• 2 exams: life science (biology) and numeracy
• 1 poster presentation on a care plan
• 1 practical exam (basic life support)
• 1 assignment based on the theories of nursing module
• 1 placement (12 week hospital ward)

Semester two:

• 3 modules: communication with children and young people, professional values ethics and law, life sciences
• 1 presentation on a case study
• 2 essays based on social sciences and professional values, law and ethics
• 1 placement (6 week special school)

So as I said busy, busy!

 Right now I have one day left at my special school placement and then the half term break, followed by a further 3 weeks at the school. I will do a post about the special school and my experience there...... but not for today!

 The essays I have written I am hoping with everything I have I will have passed them, I'll let you know either way!

 On that note I will also be constructing a post around dyslexia and studying nursing, as after being advised by a tutor I was assessed and found to be dyslexic. This has actually really eased my ' I cant do it'ness as now I have a reason why I was finding some aspects of the course so tricky!

Until my fingers find the energy to bounce around the keyboard telling nursey tales, have fun and eat yummy food!

Kimbers xXx

Open Heart Surgery

Yes it's scary!

Yes there is lots of blood!

Yes I did pass out!

No DON'T read this just before eating!

My mildly embarrassing experience of observing heart surgery 

Please note: this may well be a long post, so grab a cup of tea before reading!

 Let me make something very clear: 

I am not squeamish!

 I have seen, guts, gunge, ooze, pus, blood, faeces (of a wildly wide variety), vomit, snot, rotting flesh. I have seen somebody accidentally slice their arm open on glass, have their tooth pulled out, have a very very long needle stuck into their stomach, (many times) seen an animal be born with and without help, cleaned a persons intestine (stoma bag)...... need I say more? 

 Never once have I observed or done any of these and felt even mildly funky and yet the simple sight of watching blood go through a tube was enough to make me all light headed and very suddenly fond of a lie down!

 This is what happened:

 I was given the opportunity to observe open heart surgery on placement, this was something I had been desperate to do since I had started. I was so excited the night before I couldn't sleep and was unable to entertain the idea of having breakfast that morning. The train couldn't go fast enough and my legs just wouldn't move me quick enough towards my ward. I was SO excited!!

 I took my patient down to theatre, watched them be given a general anaesthetic that made them fall to sleep and observed cannula's, drains and tubes being plugged into them. I was then given a pair of blue scrubs, crocs, a rather fetching hat and a face mask and told to go and put them on and meet them in theatre. I did as I was told and quickly rushed back not wanting to miss anything!

 The first thing that struck me when I walked in was the sheer amount of people in there: 2 surgeons, 3-4 nurses or ODP's, several anaesthetist's, a person operating the bypass machine, a couple of people at computer's (I have no idea what these people were doing!) and me with two medical students standing against the wall trying to not get in the way (and of course the patient!). Along with all the monitors, apparatus, trolleys and wires it really was a tight squeeze.

 The first thing the surgeon done was the initial incision and then burnt the layers of skin and tissue until the sternum was visible. The smell of burning tissue is not pleasant, its similar to the smell when you singe your hair only slightly stronger and it lasts a little longer. When the surgeon was happy he then used a circular saw to separate the sternum which can then be pulled apart to expose the heart.

 This all sounds very barbaric but really it wasn't, it was very professional and only the chest is exposed, the rest of the patient is covered in these green covers. This may sound silly but not being able to see the patient made it easier. However the atmosphere in the theatre was very very intense and because of the amount of bodies in there I had begun to feel a tad odd.

 But in true British style I mentally told myself to harden up and concentrate. 

 By this time the heart was completely exposed and I could clearly see it beating. The patient was under a year old so the heart was about the size of a small plum and a reddy purple in colour. I was fascinated by this! I had seen a animal heart before from the butchers and hadn't really thought anything of it. But actually watching the heart 'in action' was amazing and added real substance to my A and P lecture on the cardiac system!

 Then came the tubes attached to the bypass machine, I watched them be inserted into the veins and arteries connected to the heart and then saw the dark red (oxygen poor) blood and bright red (oxygen rich) blood ooze its way along the tube.....

 And that was IT!

Suddenly my mind decided it did not like the idea that blood which was meant to be in the body was suddenly being carried away, put through a machine and then returned through a tube!

 I broke out in a cold sweat, my stomach lurched, the operating lights suddenly became intensely bright and the ground felt like it was made of playdough. 

"oh god no don't faint on the patient!!!" was my immediate thought and I forced my legs to move towards the door. Thankfully I made it to the anaesthetic room before the light headedness took over and I collapsed (with the aid of a lovely medical student) onto a chair. 

 To say I was embarrassed was an understatement! I was mortified!! However I was incredibly thankful that I had made it out of the theatre, it would have been 100 times worse had I not! I am also very grateful to the medical student who thought the whole thing was very funny and kept me topped up with water and assured me I had nothing to worry about!

 On reflection and having got over the humiliation I felt I am actually very glad that this happened to me. You see it allowed me to experience what parents and patients must go through when they are in hospital. They are in an unfamiliar environment that they do not understand and have no control over, they can feel intimidated and lost. As nurses and nursing students this can be something we forget as we are exposed to it everyday and it becomes the norm. I will not forget this experience and will remember how I felt whenever I am talking to a patient who is anxious and has a lot of questions. 

 Since then I have been down to theatre again to watch a similar procedure and managed just fine. The very same medical student was there again and winked at me when bypass begun. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out (which of course resulted in my licking my face mask..... yeah..... smooth) and turned my attention back to the man operating the bypass machine as he explained exactly what was happening as the blood ran through the tubes. 

Until I write again,

Kimbers xXx

The first kit to the gut thus far!

Oh poop :(

Bugger, bugger, bugger, BUGGER!!

*picks self up, brushes self down*

 It was bound to happen, at one point.... I'd just hoped it wasn't going to be quite so soon after starting......

DEEP BREATH

I failed my first assignment..... by 5%.....

5%!!!!!!

BUT! Never mind, it could have been worse, I am not alone and its only 5% sodding percent!

If/when you go through this please, please, PLEASE don't flip out in a panic, beat yourself up and contemplate suicide by chocolate and quavers! 

I'll admit that maybe I done this a little bit, but then my super friend came to the rescue in the form of a text and a 'slap round the face with smelling salts' phone call. 

 This friend I have known since year dot, we have grown up together, conquered school, sixth form and teenage life. 

She qualified as a midwife over a year ago

 But most of all she said exactly what I needed to hear, in the way it needed to be said at the right time. So, I am going to quote her life saving text on here. It may not mean much to you now but whenever you suffer a fall back remember this as it is what I would say to you:

"Don't worry too much about the result everyone fails first time, including me!! And everyone has that crisis of faith about essays and uni in general, just remember why you are there in the first place... Because you are an amazing person who deserves to be there and if they didn't think you could do it, they wouldn't have let you on the course in the first place!! Try not to get too disheartened (I know it's easier said than done) this is only going to make you stronger and work harder to achieve. You can do this.... I know you can. I have every faith in you because I know what you are capable of. Try and get some sleep and it will feel better in the morning I promise" 

Me? Have a lump in my throat??

 Yeah, maybe!

But do you see? THAT'S what I needed to hear, encouragement and that it really wasn't the end of the world. Infact, that it really isn't even that bad.

 And since then I have reflected and realised that she was right, I am worker harder and I do feel stronger and I will bloody pass that essay (and the other 2 that I need to write!!)!

 Point of this post?....

Surround yourself with supportive, caring and wonderful people because they pick you up and show the the sunshine when all you see is rain. 

Until next time,

Kimbers xXx

End of Placement and Exam results

'So long.....' 'Farewell....'

'Take THAT maths!!!'

'zoooooooom', hear that? It's the sound of placement!

'Eurlashhhk', hear that? That's the sound I made when I got my exam results!

 There I was on my last day of placement, departing from my warm cosy bed at 5:30am to drag myself out into the freezing, wet cold weather so as to catch a train into London.... hang on its a tad windy out there isn't it? 

*looks out window*

 ........hmmm, there is alot of water too......

*checks train time*

Oh wonderful all trains before 10am are cancelled due to 'inclement' weather

*slaps forehead and falls back into bed*

So after calling my ward and explaining the situation, taking 1 and a half hours to complete a 20 minute journey and getting very wet and hacked off, I rocked up on my last day at 11:30am.

And breath......

 However after that dismal start I did have an absolutely wonderful day, with lots of laughing and chocolate (my leaving treat) and goodbyes. When I left at 8 that night I felt very proud of myself; I had completed 12 weeks of hard, testing and emotional placement and I can hand on heart say that it has changed the way I perceive illness and nursing, AND I'M STILL HERE!! I bloody did it and loved it! I left the hospital beaming and almost skipping to the station..... until I saw my train had been delayed by 50 minutes, it was raining and I had forgotten my umbrella.

*Sigh*, cant have it all I spose...

 Now I am sitting at home home, feeling stuffed after a very large portion of chips from the chippy, watching the winter Olympics, sipping red wine and still getting my head round the fact (an actual fact- written and everything!!) that I passed my nursing numeracy exam....

Please let that sink in......

 Me.... a person who has had to have life long one to one tutoring .... has been reduced to tears and throwing books (yes really..... sorry Mr Farrent) ...... who physically feels sick and jittery ..... whenever the dreaded word maths (ARGH!!) is uttered. 

But there it is, right THERE.... 82%

Beautiful beautiful number and that little 2% just makes it even sweeter!

The pass mark for the exam was 80%. I had pretty much written off getting a pass, the exam (in my mind) went terribly, I was going through it totting up all the marks I thought I'd lost and was pretty sure my summer would consist of more numbers and a resit. But no, I did it :D

Now I want to tell you (yes you, the one who like me trembles in a corner, rocking in a cold sweat whenever the words 'maths' and 'exam' co-inside).

If I can do it you can, you will have to work hard, watch other people 'get it' first time, feel stupid, feel worthless, feel like giving up and crying so many tears you have to change your pillow because its dripping.

But you can do it

If you want advice and tips on how I revised for the exam just email me (kimbers27290@gmail.com) and I will either write a post (depending on how many requests I get) or email you back with help.

 My other exam on human biology was a 40% pass and I got 62%, not amazing but as I have written before I am not academic and will never breeze exams and essays. I am very much the 'middle' in all things written, but like to think that what I lack in this area I make up for in the practical side of nursing..... which just reading the feedback in my placement documents makes me feel hopeful that this is the case :)

Until I blog again, 

Kimbers xXx